Thank you to Shoe Carnival for sponsoring this post and making this job possible. Before this sponsorship, I got most of Max's shoes from Shoe Carnival and working with them has been a dream! Thank you Shoe Carnival for helping this single mom give her baby the Christmas of our dreams. All thoughts and words are my own and I hope you all enjoy the pictures and shoes as much as I did!
With Christmas quickly approaching, my heart begins to hurt and my wallet becomes VERY empty. As a single mom, raising Max to be humble and grateful is a huge priority of mine BUT there are two days I love to spoil him (well, everyone). Christmas and Birthdays! I have always been a lover of both birthdays and Christmas, just ask any one of my friends. I save and I save to buy my loved ones the perfect gift. But, when it comes to Max - I want it to be more than perfect. I want it to be the most magical day of the year. I want him to feel loved and spoiled to the best of my ability. I know that this is my last year really riding solo before Santa and I become partners in crime and I have to step up my shopping game a little bit and I probably have to ask for one of those elves *insert eye roll*. As kids get older they want more, like more expensive things, and well, Santa delivers! I know that Christmas will get harder and harder as max gets older but this year will be extremely tough.
Max is spending this Christmas with his dad and every time I think about it, my heart kind of shatters. I am glad he gets to spend so much time with his dad but the thought of Max waking up on Christmas and spending Christmas Day with his dad and his new girlfriend instead of me is a hard pill to swallow. Last year was really the only year we spent the holidays as a "family" (well, we celebrated early because we went to Mexico for Christmas but you get it) and that is a day I will always cherish. It's the first year I haven't been invited to be apart of their family and that's been extremely difficult but I know that that's life and things like that will happen more and more over time. I feel like a broken record always telling you guys how hard it is being a single mom but for every annoyed person that hates hearing me say it - there's a single mom realizing she's not alone in the way she feels and that brings me so much comfort and makes this job more than worth it.
Because I knew I wouldn't have Max this Christmas - our tree went up November 1st and we have watched almost every Christmas movie on Netflix. We have baked dozens of Christmas cookies to hand out to family, friends, and to the homeless in our community. The second it turned cold we started watching our "HA HA" (translation hot hot) fireplace on Netflix! We have been celebrating Christmas since October 31st at midnight and I haven't regretted a second of it. While I am excited for the gift giving part of Christmas, I am trying to really make sure that Max knows the importance of giving and celebrating the reason for the season. Handing out cookies was just one way we talked about giving back. We also decided to go through our old toys and donate them to kids that don't have them in order to get new ones. I have decided this is going to be a tradition. December 1st of each year we are going to go through our old toys and get rid of at least 10 toys in order to make room for more. We are going to go together to donate them and we are going to pray over them and pray that the little boys and girls getting. them have a Merry Christmas. We have gone to tree lightings, and to see Santa (preparing for his photoshoot with the big man), we are celebrating every minute of Christmas all month long because even though I won't be with Max on the big day - we will have celebrated for more than enough time. Now, I know this can't make up for the sadness I will feel on Christmas Day, not waking up with my boy, BUT I do know he will be having so much fun with his daddy. It's all a part of co-parenting and next year - it's my turn!
You all know Max is my tiny (boy) twin and I cherish every second we get to spend together but Christmas time just gives us a little more happiness than normal and I love that warm, Holiday feeling. I know this age and stage won't last forever but I am cherishing the moments he still loves giving me kisses, and holding my hand, and letting us match. Twinning isn't just for girl moms and I am so thankful places like Shoe Carnival that make matching with Max possible. I feel like that should be a hashtag?! #matchingwithmax While I will miss Max this Christmas, I am glad we had our own "Christmas a few weeks early". It's not about the gifts BUT he loved everything I worked hard to get him and that makes me so proud. I am proud that I have created a life so fun for my son. I am glad I can almost never say "no". I am glad that I am giving him the best life I can. Mostly I am glad that Max's new favorite outfit is a diaper and these boots. That's it, and I am not mad about it. Love my little man and I hope he (and all of you) have the best Christmas ever! You deserve it!
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